Today is really hard. Actually, everyday has been really hard lately. It feels physically impossible to get out of bed. When the only thing I feel capable of is playing a game on my phone to distract me from reality. Days where I wonder why I’m still fighting this burden and I constantly repeat “Lord, come quickly.”
Yesterday was my last day at a full-time job. Today I begin “funemployment” – except I have a procedure this afternoon to get an injection in my spine.
I have struggled with mental illnesses and chronic pain since 2006. I try to be open about my mental and physical health, and my goal is to meet you in the trenches and let you know you’re not alone.
A few things you should know about me regarding my illnesses:
- I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and mild post-traumatic stress disorder.
- The above mental illnesses resulted from a back injury when I was 19: torn ligament, herniated disc, and stress fractures at the L5-S1 level (lower back). A recent MRI showed a herniated disc and degenerative disc disease.
A few things that make me happy despite my disability:
- My husband Tyler is my favorite person. He complements me so well.
- I am obsessed with my cats. They’re perfect and you can’t tell me otherwise.
- I cannot survive without coffee.
- Tyler and I enjoy sampling craft beer. It’s a fun hobby.
- I have a great support system of my family and friends.
- I love Cleveland sports and the Ohio State Buckeyes.
I’m an incessant people-pleaser, so I always avoided a blog because I am worried anything I write might be met with criticism, which paralyzes me with fear. Are you familiar with the Enneagram? I’m a type 9. I will always try to make peace with others and do anything to avoid conflict. But lately I have felt called to write and share about my struggles, hoping to make a difference.
What brought you here? I’m so glad you spent the time to read this. I’d love to get to know you more!
6 thoughts on “starting new”
I hope your back starts to feel better. I’m sorry you have so many problems. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Proud of you for taking this step! You have so much to offer the world and I hope your new adventure helps others to see that, too. I would add to your list of things you are is a beloved child of God! Hugs!!!
I am a Type 2, and I’m here to cheer you on in this new adventure!
I’m so proud of you! You are brave and courageous and I envy your ability to be so open and willing to share your private thoughts with so many. I hope this blog meets all your expectations and then some. You will touch many people, of that I have no doubt. Life gets crazy and I haven’t kept in touch like I should but I will always wish the best for you!! Love you lady! 💗
You are so good at putting your words on paper. Did you ever consider writing a book. I’m so glad you are using your special talents to help others that are dealing with health issues. Love you.
I think you’re SO brave for being willing to share, and I love that about you. I am a Type 2!